If you’re in the northern hemisphere the days are getting darker. It’s getting colder and soon all the trees will be kicking off their leaves and going to sleep.
So I’ve woken up! Hello everyone, how’s it going? Who cares? Actually someone does care. Not me, obviously, but someone important finally gives a shit about you. And it’s a politician.
I kid you not people. Red Ed is back and everybody can rejoice. Apart from energy companies but we’ll get to that. So times are still tough, right? Living is pretty expensive, getting to the places that pay you is expensive and lord knows eating is expensive; and what with the obesity epidemic and all it’s clear you fat fucks need more food than ever!
And what’s worse, worse than any of this is that energy company executives might make less money under a Labour government. Holy fucking crap, I hope all you ignorant fuckers out there know what this means. Nevermind horsemen rich people making slightly less money is the true sign of the beginning of the end.
Former trade minister under Gordon Brown, Digby Jones, who knows all about this kind of stuff on account of his helping fuck up the economy as trade minister under Gordon Brown, explains very clearly that:
“The sheer damage it [Ed’s “socialist policies”] will do to the economy does not bear thinking about,” seriously don’t think about it, because if you think about it for more than ten seconds you might realise that it’s bullshit. I’ll explain why in a minute but Digby isn’t finished. “They [energy companies] are talking that this will be the end of the energy market – it’s far more dangerous. This is sheer, unbridled socialism. He is going to hijack the organs of management.”
Woohoo! About fucking time! If this is the case I literally couldn’t be happier. Go on Ed! Unbridled socialism? Yes please! Hijack the organs of management? What so they can stop screwing us over every six months in order to make themselves richer? Fuck yes! Please do! Energy companies shouldn’t need profit. They just need to make sure everyone has energy while trying to find better, more efficient ways of getting that energy. The end of the energy market? What the market that determines how much they can get away with raising costs above inflation while making record profits? Oh no, what a disaster!
OK people this is a serious battleground that Ed Miliband had opened up. A genuine, this will determine the future of our country and who it looks after problem that needs to be committed to. The energy companies have a lot of money, which they made from raising energy prices above inflation every year since they were privatised, they will use this money to throw everything at Ed Miliband. They have already and will continue to threaten that price freezes will lead to blackouts, to freezing jobs, closing power stations and eventually push up prices even further. It’s bullshit. They are interested only in protecting top level salaries and bonuses.
The first thing they will do is freeze basic pay for the lowest earning employees. Then they may try to cut jobs and close power stations. They will do this before even thinking about accepting lesser wages at the top. They will claim these cuts are forced on them. This is bullshit. They will do everything in their power to stop earning more money than they could possibly need and they will blame it on price freezes. But with conviction and steel, the same steel every Briton has shown throughout the years of austerity we will get to a better place. A place where energy companies are responsible and look out for the consumer. For you and me. They cannot and will not be able to stop selling energy. Without us they have no customers. Ed Miliband is right to enforce price freezes when everyone (who it actually affects) is suffering. We must back him to the hilt.
David Cameron claims Britain is in a global race. Why? Who are racing and for what purpose? As Ed Miliband says, this is “a race to the bottom”, a con trick to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. This is true. Genuinely it is. Think about it for just a moment. The economy is recovering, there’s growth and there’s jobs. But look at it closer. The economy is being repaired by easy credit lent to first time buyers, which is driving up house prices. Sound familiar? That’s because it’s the same thing that led to the recession in the first place. Are you a homeowner in London? Are you’re benefiting from house price inflation? Has your pay increased above inflation? When was the last time it did? Are you making enough money to support yourself with a zero hour contract?
So if the economy is getting better, and there is more money around, where is it? Well it’s the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. Ed Miliband wants to cap energy prices for a couple of years while ordinary people recover from the worst ever recession. Energy companies and Tories will say this way leads to madness. To socialism. Will ruin the recovery…
Fuck energy companies.
Go on Ed.